Table of Contents
- Wednesday, 22:47: Gus Has Internet
- Thursday, 07:14: Gus Has Thought About It
- Thursday, 19:30: Gus Wants More
- Field Note 1: The Licence
- Field Note 2: The Plug-and-Pray Ham
- Field Note 3: The Method
- Field Note 4: SOTA
- Field Note 5: CQ on 2 Metres
- Field Note 6: ChatGPT as QSO Partner
- Friday, 21:03: Gus's Reaction
- The Uncomfortable Truth
- Transparency Notice
After the article “Gustl Großsignal Searches for Himself — and Finds Nothing”, it was only a matter of time. Three days, to be precise. Then came the WhatsApp message. And another one. And another. Your Hansl reports — and yes, he has notes.
Wednesday, 22:47: Gus Has Internet
The first message came at 22:47. Via WhatsApp, of course. Gus communicates exclusively via WhatsApp. Email is something he ticks as an answer option during the licence exam but never uses in real life.
“Hansl!!! Have you read this?? There’s an article about me on oeradio.at!!! I search for myself and find nothing!! That’s ME!!! 😂😂😂”
Three exclamation marks. Two emojis. Zero self-reflection. Classic Gus.
Over the next eleven minutes: seven more messages, two screenshots, a photo of his screen (because screenshots are too complicated — sometimes Gus takes a photo of the screen. With flash.), and a voice memo in which he reads the entire article aloud. With commentary. “Hi hi, that’s not true at all! Well, maybe a little.”
Thursday, 07:14: Gus Has Thought About It
“But tell me Hansl, how does the author know all this? Do they know me? Is it YOU??”
I didn’t answer. Because with Gus, you don’t need to. Gus answers himself. It just takes a few hours.
“Doesn’t matter who it is, the article’s funny. But the QRZ thing isn’t right. I DO have a QRZ profile. It has my callsign. And my name. And nothing else, but that counts too!”
Yes, Gus. That counts. Just like place 47 out of 52 counts. Everything counts when you’re Gus.
Thursday, 19:30: Gus Wants More
“Hey Hansl, I’ve read all the Störsender articles now. That Rudi! He’s even worse than me! 😂 Is there actually more about me?”
And that’s where it got interesting. Because yes, Gus — there is more. I have notes, you see. I’ve had notes for a long time. Since the day you asked, shortly after your exam, why your repeater wouldn’t open. Since that day, I’ve been writing things down.
And because Gus asked — and because Gus always gets what he wants (usually by sending WhatsApp messages until the other person gives up) — here they are: The collected field notes of Hansl Hohlleiter on the phenomenon known as Gus Big-Signal.
Field Note 1: The Licence
Gus passed his amateur radio exam not too long ago. CEPT Class 1, mind you. The full licence. The one where you should theoretically know what a CTCSS tone is. Theoretically.
Because Gus — and this is documented — asked shortly after the exam why his repeater wouldn’t open. Like a goldfish with a callsign.
Field Note 2: The Plug-and-Pray Ham
When you’re new to amateur radio, you buy a Baofeng. When you’re Gus, you buy the current flagship from a well-known manufacturer. Plus a portable rig, two handhelds, a DMR hotspot, a vertical antenna, a Yagi, and probably three more antennas forgotten in the basement.
The equipment is there. The understanding isn’t. Gus is a plug-and-pray ham: he plugs everything in, switches everything on, and when it doesn’t work, sends a WhatsApp message.
Field Note 3: The Method
Phase 1: Helplessness. “How does this work? I’m still a beginner.” Phase 2: Revelation. Contest certificate, place 47 of 52, framed. Phase 3: Modesty. “Not bad for a beginner, right?” And everyone nods.
Field Note 4: SOTA
Gus does SOTA. He hikes to summits, sets up his antenna and gets on the air, and beams with joy over three QSOs. His SOTAdata account shows zero entries. Logging is for people who are serious. Gus is serious, but only up to the WhatsApp message.
Field Note 5: CQ on 2 Metres
Gus’s most tragic moment comes every evening when he calls CQ on 2m into the Austrian hills. And waits. Nothing. He once had the wrong repeater frequency programmed for three weeks. Didn’t notice.
Field Note 6: ChatGPT as QSO Partner
The pinnacle: Gus proposed building his own QSL card generator. With drag-and-drop. ChatGPT mockups, proudly presented. When told such a thing already exists: “Oh, I totally missed that.”
Friday, 21:03: Gus’s Reaction
I sent Gus the field notes. Via WhatsApp, naturally. Three voice memos arrived simultaneously — in the wrong order, as always.
Memo 1 (actually Memo 3): “…and THAT’S why it didn’t work, the old settings were still in there!”
Memo 2 (actually Memo 1): “Hansl! You old spy! You wrote all of this DOWN?? 😂😂😂”
Memo 3 (actually Memo 2): “Okay, the goldfish bit is mean. But the place 47 thing is true. I WAS proud. What’s wrong with that?? The contest was fun!”
Then, after exactly three minutes: “Can you publish it? But write that I’ve got it all under control now. Mostly.”
The Uncomfortable Truth
Gus Big-Signal is harmless. Gus is nice. Gus is enthusiastic, and enthusiasm sometimes looks like cluelessness. Gus is not one person — Gus is hundreds. Without the Guses, amateur radio would be nothing but bitter technicians correcting each other’s reports.
So, Gus: carry on. Keep asking. Keep posting. Keep calling CQ on 2m. And yes — I’ll keep writing, hi.
73 de Hansl Hohlleiter, OE0HHL — the only OM who always calls Gus back. Not out of pity. But because three voice memos in the wrong order are guaranteed to follow.
P.S.: Gus read this article before publication. His response: “Fine! But write that I’ve got it all under control now.” — Done, Gus. Done.
Transparency Notice
This article is satire. Gus Big-Signal and his callsign OE0GGS are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental — but statistically inevitable. Gus consented to publication (via WhatsApp, of course). This article was written with the assistance of AI (Claude, Anthropic) and reviewed by the oeradio.at editorial team.
