There are radio amateurs who move with the times. Who try FT8, set up DMR, install VARA. Who embrace new operating modes like children with a new toy.
And then there’s Sepp.
Sepp Seitenband, OE0SSB, has been licensed since 1987. Full licence. And if you ask him, 1987 was also the last year when amateur radio was done properly. It’s been downhill ever since.
His setup is straightforward: an IC-7300 (which he only bought for the built-in tuner), a three-element Yagi for 20 metres and a microphone. A good microphone. A Heil ProSet. Because “you can hear the modulation”.
He’s covered the IC-7300’s waterfall display with a piece of cardboard. “It’s just a distraction,” says Sepp. “I don’t need a colourful picture, I need good modulation.”
The Enemies
Sepp has three enemies. Not personally — on principle.
Enemy Number One: FT8
“That’s not real radio,” says Sepp at every opportunity. “Nobody talks to anyone. A computer sends some text, and the other computer sends some text back. Where’s the amateur radio in that?” The fact that FT8 decodes at -24 dB below the noise floor doesn’t interest him. “If you can’t hear it, it’s not there.”
Enemy Number Two: DMR
“That’s mobile phone radio,” says Sepp. “With talkgroups and time slots and codeplugs. I became a radio amateur, not an IT technician.” The fact that he spent three hours programming his antenna tuner doesn’t strike him as a contradiction. That BrandMeister now connects thousands of users worldwide? “Still mobile phone radio.”
Enemy Number Three: VARA
“Winlink via radio? I might as well just send an email.” That this is precisely the point has never been successfully explained to him.
The Club Meeting
Once a quarter, when the local chapter meets, Sepp gives his speech. Not officially — unofficially. But everyone knows it’s coming.
“I’d just like to say something briefly,” Sepp begins. What follows is a 25-minute treatise on the decline of amateur radio since the introduction of packet radio. He draws a line from AX.25 through APRS to Meshtastic and ends with: “And now nobody talks to each other any more.”
The chapter leader now has a timer on his phone. At 20 minutes, he coughs. At 25 minutes, he interrupts. Sepp then says: “I’m nearly done anyway.” He is never done.
The Secret
What nobody knows — and what Sepp would never admit — is this: every evening, when the XYL is asleep, he takes his daughter’s iPad and opens PSKReporter.
He scrolls through the spots. He sees who’s reaching Japan on FT8. Australia. Bouvet Island. With 5 watts.
“Pfff,” he says. But he keeps scrolling.
Sometimes he types in his own callsign. Just to see if anyone is still hearing him. The last SSB spots were from last week. An OM from Bavaria. The SWR was bad.
Then he closes the browser, clears the history (you never know) and goes to bed.
The Incident
One Saturday afternoon, it happens. 3Y0K — a DXpedition to Bouvet Island. DXCC number 2 on Sepp’s most-wanted list. He’s been waiting since 2019.
He tunes the VFO. 14.195 — pile-up. Impossible. 14.230 — SSB, but the signals are weak and the pile-up is three kilohertz wide. No chance.
Then he reads the DX cluster: “3Y0K 14.074 FT8 F/H UP.”
FT8. Of course.
Sepp stares at the screen. He stares at the cardboard covering the waterfall display. He stares at the USB port on the back of the IC-7300, where no cable has ever been plugged in.
“No,” says Sepp aloud. “No. I’m not doing that.”
He switches off the transceiver and goes into the garden.
On Monday, Sepp doesn’t have Bouvet in his log. 4,327 other OMs do.
The Epiphany (Almost)
You might think this would have been the turning point. The moment Sepp installs WSJT-X and secretly makes his first QSO at three in the morning. When he discovers that digital modes can be fun too. When he understands that amateur radio evolves.
But that’s not how Sepp works.
The following Saturday he’s back in the shack. SSB. 20 metres. CQ DX. And when someone asks if he worked 3Y0K, he says: “Don’t need it. I’ve got enough DXCC. And besides — FT8 doesn’t really count.”
Then in the evening he scrolls through PSKReporter again. And clears the history.
Editor’s Note
Sepp Seitenband is entirely fictional. All callsigns with the OE0 prefix are fictitious and not assigned to any real person. Any resemblance to living radio amateurs who tape over their waterfalls and secretly check PSKReporter is purely coincidental — and entirely intentional.
Yours, Hansl Hohlleiter
Transparency Notice
This article was researched and written with the support of AI (Claude, Anthropic). The editorial team has reviewed and edited all content. Despite careful review, occasional inaccuracies may occur — we welcome feedback and corrections by email to [email protected].
