Edwin Ehrenkodex, OE0EEK, is no ordinary radio amateur. Edwin is a guardian. A watchman. A beacon of operating procedure in a world of Q-code deniers and callsign mumblers. His territory: the VHF/UHF repeaters of his federal state. His tools: an Icom IC-9700, a desk microphone (unused) and a spreadsheet with 4,327 entries.
The System
Edwin’s day starts at 06:45. Coffee, headphones on, squelch open — and then: silence. More precisely: Edwin’s silence. Because Edwin doesn’t transmit. Edwin receives. Edwin documents.
The spreadsheet is called “Violations_Repeater_OE0_2024-2026_FINAL_v37.xlsx”. It has 14 tabs: one per repeater, one for “repeat offenders”, one for “particularly serious cases” and one called “Hopeless”. The columns: Date, Time, Callsign (if given — Column C: “Callsign forgotten? YES/NO”), Violation type, Severity (1–5), and a “Notes” column that sometimes contains entire paragraphs.
Violation type “missing greeting” has 847 entries. “No QTH given” accounts for 612. “Mumbled callsign” sits at 531. And the leader: “Excessively long QSO without pause for other stations” — 1,204 cases. Edwin has transcribed the exact wording for every single one.
The Complaints
Once a month, Edwin composes a “Repeater Operations Status Report” and sends it to the ÖVSV regional federation. Eight pages. Colour-coded charts. Trend analysis. One chapter is titled “The Erosion of Operating Procedure — A Statistical Analysis”. Another: “Why Repeater OE0XKK Between 19:00 and 20:00 Is a Lawless Zone”.
The regional federation stopped replying. Edwin’s last response came in September 2024: “Dear Edwin, thank you for your commitment. Kind regards.” Edwin printed and framed the email. It hangs above the IC-9700.
Since the ÖVSV went silent, Edwin has expanded his distribution list. Complaints now go to the local club, three neighbouring clubs, the repeater keeper (who set his phone to “Edwin → silent”) and — since a particularly grave incident in March — to the telecommunications authority. The incident: someone had said “Cheerio” instead of “73” on the repeater.
The Club Net
Edwin naturally participates in every club net. That is: he listens. When the net controller asks: “Edwin, are you with us?”, there is silence. Edwin is there. Edwin is always there. But Edwin does not transmit. Edwin takes notes.
After the net he sends his “correction notes by email”. Last week: “Dear Herbert, during the net you said ‘um’ twice and once spelled your callsign with ‘Ida’ instead of ‘India’. See ICAO Phonetic Alphabet, Appendix 3 of the amateur radio exam. With friendly regards, Edwin.”
Herbert changed his email address. Edwin found the new one within 38 minutes. He is, after all, thorough.
The Microphone
Edwin owns a Heil microphone. Professional edition. Gold contacts. It has sat on his desk for three years. It has a thin layer of dust. Once, in December 2023, Edwin picked up the microphone. He wanted to correct someone on the repeater who had called “CQ” — on a repeater. With EchoLink. Via VoIP.
He pressed the PTT button. For three seconds. Then he released it, put the microphone back and wrote an email instead. Eight paragraphs. With footnotes.
His QRZ.com profile shows: Last activity — none. His logbook is empty. But his complaint documentation spans 127 pages.
The Digital Front
Since DMR and D-Star arrived, Edwin’s workload has doubled. Not because he operates digital modes — of course not. But because there are now digital violations too. Someone used the wrong talkgroup. Someone forgot to unlink a reflector. Someone ran a hotspot without first clarifying the regulatory situation (Edwin believes there is a regulatory situation).
For DMR, Edwin created a separate spreadsheet: “DMR_Violations_TG232_2025_CONFIDENTIAL.xlsx”. “Confidential” because he once accidentally sent the spreadsheet to his entire distribution list. Since then, three OMs no longer speak to him. Which Edwin hasn’t noticed, because he never spoke to them anyway.
The Dream
Edwin’s dream: a repeater with perfect operating procedure. Correct callsign identification. ICAO phonetic alphabet. Orderly handovers. Appropriate pauses. No laughter. No “Cheerio”. No “How’s the wife?”
In other words: a repeater where nobody transmits.
Edwin’s wife sometimes asks: “Edwin, why do you never talk on the radio?” Edwin replies: “Because I know how it’s done properly. And that’s precisely why I don’t need to prove it.”
Then he turns back to the IC-9700, opens a new row in the spreadsheet and types: “17:43 — OE0??? — Callsign not understood — Violation Category 2 — Mumbling — Note: Probably the same as yesterday.”
Somewhere in Carinthia, the red LED of a repeater lights up. Edwin’s headphones crackle. Someone checks in.
Edwin reaches for the ballpoint pen. Not the microphone.
Just like every day.
73 de OE0EEK — if he ever were to transmit. Which he doesn’t. On principle.
Disclaimer: Edwin Ehrenkodex, OE0EEK, is entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual repeater monitors is purely coincidental — and probably documented in a spreadsheet. If you feel personally addressed: please do not send a complaint email. We’ve updated the spam filter.
Transparency Notice
This article was researched and written with the assistance of AI (Claude, Anthropic). The editorial team has reviewed and edited all content. Despite careful review, occasional inaccuracies may occur — we welcome corrections via email to [email protected].
